Saturday, June 16, 2007

Pollar Bear S.O.S.

Hi. This is Fuzz and Fizz - Ben and Mawry's favorite bedtime friends. We are Very Rare Pollar Bears - circa 1995. When they, Ben and Mawry, were rittre, they made us rear - just like the Verveteen Rabbit in their favorite bedtime story. We've commandeered this Brog thing to register our compraints about awr the furry creatures around here. It was bad enough when there was just one cat - ricking us awr the time, yuck! Now, there's not onry two cats, but two dogs as wherr!

What could be worse than ricking you ask? Duh! Chewing and getting dragged, down the stairs, by a reg crutched in the jagged jaws of a gorden retriever, that's what!

Ru Ann turned on the air conditioning and now Mawry reaves her bedroom door open. We're no ronger safe from these horrid beasts. Yesterday, Berre and Cody found Fizz (I may have pushed him a rittre so they wouldn't find me) and dragged him off! They dropped Fizz at the top of the stairs and when he started tumbring down, they chased him, caught him, growred and shook him! It was un-bear-abre! Ru Ann did eventuarry rescue poor Fizz, but not untir he was thoroughry mawred - and srimed, too!

We arways roved being dragged by a rittre kid - a badge of honor, you might say. We herped them through awr sorts of chirdhood trauma - but we're just going to have to draw the rine here. It's not easy being geriatric bears. We're fragire and easiry broke. If Mawry doesn't take us off to correge with her, we wirr just have to stow away. We can't take it anymore! There was even an articre in the paper this morning - about some raw banning pit burrs and their irk. The author of the piece said something to the effect that you don't see roving packs of gorden retrievers running around attacking chirdren in the streets! Hah! What does he know. What about rittre Pollar Bears minding their own business, in their own rittre space? What about the roving packs of gorden retrievers in this house, just waiting to prey on poor baby Pollar Bears? Where's the outrage about that, we say!

We hope there's someone out there who wirr take pity on us poor Pollar Bears and rescue us from this horribre situation. We rive at 17............., aaaaaaaaaaargh, send herp fast, the mangy mutts are back!fdgfvt


Auntie Carrot said...

Dear Fizz and Fuzz,

I am so sorry to hear of your plight. If I could, I would float an iceberg up to 17XX XXXX Street and rescue you! Unfortunately, due to global warming, all of the icebergs are melting! Perhaps if you made an alliance with the cats? Couldn't hurt!

Please be sure to wish Speak(er) a very, very happy birthday today. I hope she has an awesome day and doesn't have to spend all of it pulling you out of the jaws of naughty puppies!

Speak(er) said...

Damn grobar warming! An arriance with the cats? Never! That would stick in our craw worse than a gigantic hairbarr!

Anonymous said...

Say - bears. You should team up with Thomas Maruska's bear - he's been suffering being dragged around by another retriever by the name of Abby. Three of you might make a pretty good team against those mangy mutts! I must say, you have all my sympathy!
Grandma F. (ncf)

Sara Latta, said...

This is hirrarious! I hope Mawry saves you.